i feel like an ass

god i have been an ass to people. i feel so bad about it ass. i guess some of it i shouldn't feel bad about but i do. like not thanking margar when she got my ipod, being an ass to my friend dan, (alot of these are probly going to be margar cause i am thinking of her so yeah), some of the stuff i said to margar today(idk weather i should feel bad about those or not but i do feel bad) and stuff i have done to my step mom emmy though i don't think i have done anything recently but i have done things before -shrugs- well actualy there arn't that many right now and half of them were margar (but there were only four so i guess that not saying much). well that anouff of a pity thing cause i know that what people will think to this and u know i wonder if that is what i want them to do. i say that i don't like pitty but mabey deep down inside i do so i try to get it -shrug- ehhh who knows, mabey i should get a shrink if i wana know. but then i would need money and my mum won't let me get a job. soooooo that isn't hapining anytime soon i guess. i would like to figure myself out more and i try and realy u don't, people are just lazy and like to have people do things for them. i am not saying i am abouff these things i know i am a lazy fuck. but i am just saying what i think which then that would make me a hipacrit. meh who cares. not the people or most lickly person (idk if mellisa still reads this i know margar does though). HA this in interactive for the reader......not realy idk why i said i could just delete that but i am not i am just typing what comes up. i hope my blog dosn't lose this like it has lost other big ones. god this is long. lest see if i can beat my last one but i probly won't cause i'm bord. but that could just mean that i am going to write that much cause i have nothing better to do? well lets find out. wow my typing is faster that the last time i actualy looked at me type but i still SUCK ASS at it. wow i do cuss tomuch but this is online so that dosn't actualy meen i cuss like this in real life but hell who am i kidding i do. i try to say BUTT and i do say that alot but i still do cuss. but realy there just words i don't know why there consiterd bad. i know rasits ones should be like the N word which i refuse to say even online. but i do sometimes say it in my head and that pisses me off. i hate when i think like that. that why i consiter there to be two people in my head cuase i think in two different ways. well i guess i am done so bye now am when i post this i am going to see how long it is DING well byes.