tears of love (not ment to sound poetic it verry litrel)

god i miss and love margar so much. she brightens up my world, makes thing more berrable, gives me somthing to look fowrd to. i know i sound sappy but i true, no this isn't going to be a long post just anouff for me to say i love margar<3 so verry much.

Its Friday i'm unloved

ofcourse i don't meen that people hate me i just am feeling moopy and lonly. i don't know i just feel like everyone hates me right now and there isn't anyone out there. well atleast others are having a good friday like debbie,margar,and proply others but those are what i will name i don't feel like thinking of anymore. -sigh- i should listen to some music and mabey it would make me feel better but i am not me is watching TV. well i think i am done with this so bye

atempt to get back into bloging (take 2)

me is fealing lonly and listing to the unforgeven. and even though this is what i should have said first i am saying it now, and with a stupid explatonatoin why its there so enjoy i guess or leave me the fuck alone whichever, there both fine to me, i realy should have done this earlyer. what were you expecting somthing bigger or more inportant, well meh deal with what i put. well i am being bitchy.-sigh-. am i alone, i ask myself this every day and also i don't know why but i think that is quoting a movie or somthing meh tobad i am using it now. i feel so empty. i don't know what i meen when i say that but that is what i feel like and yes i confuse myself as much as i confuse others. what am i rambling about right now nobody knows. meh that anouff off that. well i don't know i am bord right now and i wana stop and i don't wana stop and sence i have said this on every one of my long ones i will probly keep on writing. why do things hate me so much? i just get so much hate from everything. i adds on to my lonly feeling. even though i don't realy know if i am realy getting hate or i am just paranoid or it is just hate from myself. meh i don't know and am not realy careing right now. i don't know if this will be as long as the others but i is longer than usual. i should start reading the bleach manga cause i am reading so much on the charitors but i wana finish death note first. well i need book seven GIVE ME BOOK SEVEN well that is that. i guess i am done for now so TA TA

atempt to get back into bloging (take 2

atempt to get back into bloging (take 2

atempt to get back into bloging (take 2

am atempt to get back into bloging

well i haven't done this in awhile but i am going to try right now. high school is actualy pretty fun but i realy miss margar, i always start sulking when we go stop on my bus. and i see her bus which i rember cause that was always the bus i was looking for. but i may get to see her today and ITS FRIDAY AND I'M IN LOVE hee hee.well this is all for my short bloging today

bye bye

i feel so alone

god i am alone and empty. my paranoia has taken over again. and i don't know why i don't just end it now. other than the fact that i am actualy scared to do so. and then i would find out what hell is realy like though and prove all of those christian asses wrong.(just to put somthing biblical :p) well that is anouff whineing for now. so bye

so these are the people who go to hell

Hell is a place designed by God to separate those who hate Him from those who love Him. Those who are sent to hell are restrained through punishment so that they won't be able to torture others. If you don't think that you will like it in hell, try heaven instead. However, you are not going to get there on the basis of the "good" things you have done in your life, but through belief in Jesus Christ.

sooooooo good people will go to hell and u can be evil but u beleve in Jesus Christ u will go to heven. makes sence dosn't it? ahh the dumb ass christians what will they think of next ;)

what happens in hell

Punishment in Hell
smoke of their torment
no rest day and night
weeping and gnashing of teeth
tormented
death
their worm does not die
destruction

how do u die twice. if ur in hell then ur dead so how do u die again. and if ur inside the earth which is were the bible says it is. so there would be no day or night. so that dosn't matter. and last off WHAT THE FUCK IS A WORM. that is all thank u ;)

what hell will be like (contradiction)

Bible's Description of Hell
fire and brimstone
burning wind
fiery oven
flames of fire
judgment by fire
unquenchable fire
furnace of fire
eternal fire
eternal punishment
fiery hell
pits of darkness
lake of fire

well if hell is all this fire how is there darkness. fire creats light. this makes no sence. christian dumb fucks

LOOK WHAT SENDS U TO HELL (proff that christian are bigeted ass holes)

What Sends You to Hell?13
idolatry
adultery
prostitution
theft
greed
drunkenness
swindling
impurity
witchcraft
discord
jealousy
fits of rage
dissensions
factions and envy
orgies
lying
cowardice
unbelief
sorcery
sexual immorality
homosexual offenses
slander
hatred
selfish ambition
abomination
murder


i am not saying all of these are unreasonable but first off lying then every one is going to hell and then there is jealosy so everyone gets to go to hell twise. ISN'T THIS FUN!! and well the list is there so i am finding this funny so that it read if u want

i feel like an ass

god i have been an ass to people. i feel so bad about it ass. i guess some of it i shouldn't feel bad about but i do. like not thanking margar when she got my ipod, being an ass to my friend dan, (alot of these are probly going to be margar cause i am thinking of her so yeah), some of the stuff i said to margar today(idk weather i should feel bad about those or not but i do feel bad) and stuff i have done to my step mom emmy though i don't think i have done anything recently but i have done things before -shrugs- well actualy there arn't that many right now and half of them were margar (but there were only four so i guess that not saying much). well that anouff of a pity thing cause i know that what people will think to this and u know i wonder if that is what i want them to do. i say that i don't like pitty but mabey deep down inside i do so i try to get it -shrug- ehhh who knows, mabey i should get a shrink if i wana know. but then i would need money and my mum won't let me get a job. soooooo that isn't hapining anytime soon i guess. i would like to figure myself out more and i try and realy u don't, people are just lazy and like to have people do things for them. i am not saying i am abouff these things i know i am a lazy fuck. but i am just saying what i think which then that would make me a hipacrit. meh who cares. not the people or most lickly person (idk if mellisa still reads this i know margar does though). HA this in interactive for the reader......not realy idk why i said i could just delete that but i am not i am just typing what comes up. i hope my blog dosn't lose this like it has lost other big ones. god this is long. lest see if i can beat my last one but i probly won't cause i'm bord. but that could just mean that i am going to write that much cause i have nothing better to do? well lets find out. wow my typing is faster that the last time i actualy looked at me type but i still SUCK ASS at it. wow i do cuss tomuch but this is online so that dosn't actualy meen i cuss like this in real life but hell who am i kidding i do. i try to say BUTT and i do say that alot but i still do cuss. but realy there just words i don't know why there consiterd bad. i know rasits ones should be like the N word which i refuse to say even online. but i do sometimes say it in my head and that pisses me off. i hate when i think like that. that why i consiter there to be two people in my head cuase i think in two different ways. well i guess i am done so bye now am when i post this i am going to see how long it is DING well byes.

i am a lucky bastard

i am thinking of how lucky i am to have margar. she is so great and could have so much better guys than me but she chose me. she is so great, one of the best people who i have every met. and i miss her soooo much and i don't know if i will be able to see her anytime soon but i hope i do. but i have said that alot. but yea i am a realy lucky bastard to have her. well thats it bye

i feel so alone (somthing i have used at a title before

i miss margar

i realy miss margar. i can't stop thinking of her and me listing to a butt load of oasis isn't helping i meen i cryed today just cause i missed her. god i am a dork. -sigh- well that all i wanted to say i hopes i get to see margar soon ands byes

i crave her call

right now all i wish is to die. i don't diserve to live. and i know people will say oh yes u do and i don't want u to die. i know myself beter than them and if they knew me like i know me then they would agree with me. blah blah blah god i am a whiny bitch. thats all i have done on this fucken thing for the last 6 or so entrys. and look i keep on whiny. endless cykle of whining. see now i would be doing everyone a favor by shuting myself up. well that ended wierd and i still feel weird but whatever. like usual bye bye

i don't feel so good

there is somthing wrong with me and i just don't know what. i don't feel sick i don't feel pain. i just feel like there is somehing wrong. an empty feeling and i don't feel like life is even worth living anymore (please don't take offence to this margar). i'm verry sorry if i end it and leave people sad i hope i don't but right now i just don't know. well bye

why

god why can't i just end it. am i realy afrade of what i will find if i do. i think about it everydad i want it everyday but i am just tomuch of a cowerd to just end it. i need to step up to somthing in my life even if that is ending it. i couldn't break up with courtney even though i wanted to for like 4 months and i couldn't say no when she asked me out again. the last time we broke up i purposly got realy mean to her so she wouldn't ask me out again. that affects how i am with margar i was verry comfortable and not paranoid with courtney i meen she tryed to get somthing to bother me and it never did. i am terrafied of when margar will break up with me. i constly fear it. i play it out in my head over and over and i get so depressed from thinking of that. i always if the "plays" ask if we can still be frends though in those and that is probly the only thing that scares me more is looseing my friend ship with margar. it funny margar dosn't do anything and i am that paranoid. i don't know if i just realy want it to work with her as long as possable or i have realy changed. i still try to keep up the appecence that i don't care cause it is a sighn of weakness if i show and i know that is stupid but i am a guy and i think like one with that. i can't beleve i am typing this up now. -sigh- well i guess i am done bye bye

mehhhhhhhh

i just feel like sulking right now. probly cause i am listing to oasis but nomater. and my mom wants me to plan out trying to hang out with margar tomarow which is anoying. i realy feel like i am distant from my dad side of famly which i get along with and i am not sooo distant from my mom but we don't get along. uhhh why can't i just be good with someone? well i guess jake and margar know me better than most. my mom know me pretty well 2 but we don't get along so it dosn't matter and i can read her better than she knows. well i am done cause i don't wana write another long one so bye

vivica

oh vivica i fear for you i truely do. poping pills trying to make it all go away, wanting to be invesible. watching you sit, watching you cry. all i can say is i wish you well i realy do. wanting someone to tell you that you are beautiful. i see you now with a crooked smile. seeing it all i wish you well, i will just sit here and never tell. i feel for you i realy do.

getting drunk on emotions

well this is anoying i typed one gient thingy and my blog lost it. BITCH well i will just go on ranting on what i am thinking of. and what the other guy in my head is thinking of. though i will try to minamise that one because he is a biast racest sexest person who i hate. he is a fucken ass. god am i crazy? i meen he just tells me things that depress me. i realy should give him a name or somthing if u have any sugestions please coment. -singing- today is gona be the day they take me back to u. thinking of margar sulking and listing to oasis. oh look now i am seeing things. YAY. what the fuck is wrong with me. ohhh i am doodling on my desk and weiting to get bitched at by my mom. uhhh is that normal. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok thats anouff of that what else is going on in there. well halloween the movie. along with my mouth bleeding, margar is still in there, uhhhhhhhhhh. -sigh- i am a worthless fuck. parden my french. uhh what does that term even mean i mean it makes no sence. FUCK oh parden my french. honsltly it makes no sence.wow i have typed alot again atlest the other asshole has shut up. god i wana take some pills right now but i am affraid that i will get adiced or however u spell that. man i like margar to much i meen i think of her alot and i miss her alot. i wish i didn't like her so much. it just cause pain later on but i guess i will have to just let it happen cause i can't stop liking her. uhhhhhh wow i can't beleve someone would read this much and god i should shut up but my blog is called my mind enter if u dare so do u dare to read this much. if u do u will get a look into my mind. its kinda empty isn't it. ooooooooooooooooooooooo texes chainsaw masicare thingy is on!!!! KILL HER KILL HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do not have problems! well i guess i am done so bye and congrats if u get this far :p

thinking

i have spent the day thinking about the hipacrits in the schools. telling u to stand out and be your self while wanted u to fallow a strict dress code follow the rules, pretty much be another brick in the wall ;) to quote pink floyd. i have also though about the biasts in the political partys. both sides don't care what people in there partys do, but if the other party does something bad oooooo they are the worst people in the world. i am not just saying this about demacrats. this counts for republicans to. ok that it i will go on thinking.

mabey

i have done somthing that i shouldn't have and i will do it again. i might do somthing else and i will never see light again.

YAY

i got to see margar today even though if was a short time it still beats nothing

Crying

it realy weird i have cryed 2 days in a row. i never cry. god i bearly reconise myself anymore
i still miss margar which i need to stop saying but i am just typing whats on my mind so i will try to shut up about that uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i wondered

so now i know i am not done bitching my mode is still deterating and i am getting sader and sader i with margar would get online so we can talk. man she was right i am a dork. and i am realy strange if u ask me. well now i will probly only bitch like 3 more times

uhhhhh

i am realy sad right now. i don't know why i just wana huddle in a dark corrner but then everyone would ask me whats wrong and it would drive my crazy. though i still realy miss margar which i already said today but i realy miss her so i am going to say that again. i may be done bitching today i don't know mabye not. i guess i will find out

Margar

god i can't stop thinking of margar. i meen i was watching this show lie to me and wonderwall played and then the cure was in this realy weird movie that i don't remember what it was called and both of those made me miss her more and sulk alot. i realy miss her <3 mabye i can see her on wensday i don't know

Uhhhhh

god i miss seeing margar. i hope i can see her next week or somthing. i just wanted to say that

Randy Rhoads

i just watched a trubute of randy rhoads and it almost made me cry and if u know me thats alot

uhhhhhhh

i am so bord !!!!!! my mom made this stupid system and it is so anoying. 0_o
ok i am done bitching

Loosing it

i swear my grip on reality if fading i am seeing things that scare the shit out of me i am spacing out i sweare i spent like 2 hours feeling like i was high two days in a row while i don't take any drugs. god whats wrong. i swear i even drew a cross in my blood. i am seeing, hearing, and feeling things that are not there.

wow i suck

i got a F in my english class XD i kick major ass in that class.

FUCK FACEBOOK

FACEBOOK KEEPS CALLING ME EMO!!!!! it is pissing me off

one of my favorite song's lyrics

"Strawberry Gashes"Turn her overA candle is lit, I see through herBlow it out and save all her ashes for meCurse me sold herThe poison that runs it's course through herPale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all overWatch me fault herYou're living like a disasterShe said kill me fasterwith strawberry gashes all overCalled her overand asked her if she was improvingShe said "feels fine" it's wonderful wonderful hereHex me told herI dreamt of a devil that knew herPale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all overWatch me fault herYou're living like a disasterShe said kill me fasterwith strawberry gashes all overI lay quietwaiting for her voice to say"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"Scold me failed herIf only I'd held on tighter to herPale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from meWatch me lose herIt's almost like losing myselfGive her my souland let them take somebody else get away from meWatch me fault herYou're living like a disasterShe said kill me fasterwith strawberry gashes all over all over me

SHIT

i think i just called margar at a girlscout thingy angin!!!!!!

crapy poem thing that came to me

my darkness, embodied in red, watching it drip drip from my body, ounce by ounce drop by drob, waiting for it to empty, and leave me in my pool darkness

RAWR

my headphones broke and there the only ones i got i will have to get somemore tomarow but after a hole day of no ipod. i am so sad

i hate myself so much right now

i am just so sad. worried that i caused someone elses sadness. and like the title says i hate myself.

am or have i hurt

i am so parinoid but i was an ass who wasn't thinking of others. i probly wont sleep much tonight and who i am talking about knows who they are. i am just so depressed and other shit right now but i thought that writing it out would help.

is there anyone out there (yea this is a pink floyd reference)

i feel like there is no one out there i am all alone in this world. i am screaming for someone but no one hears me. my life is almost completly empty. and a big ALMOST so there are some good things which completly controdicts what i said up there and if you don't like it deal with it

Is there anyone out there

I CAN'T SPOP LISTING TO PINK FLOYD

well the title pretty much says what i wanted to say

confused

i just watched the wall and now i feel weird. like i feel trapped within myself. i feel like shouting and crying and breaking things but i can barley type this. i don't really know whats going on. can someone release me from my prison. damn i didn't know Pink Floyd could do this to me.

meh

i got internet slaped by margar

just end it

i feel so numb right now. i don't even know if i would feel me stabing myself. huhhhhhhhh. well watever i don't realy mater anyway i don't even know why i a bitching on this blog anyway i probly sound like a whiny bitch and i probly am

why

why am i here i meen i all just seems so pointless. realy i just waist everybodys time and i am a ass so i just think i should end it and make everyone happyer

sweet song

dig up her bones by the misfits kicks ass. it's also makes me laugh at how much of an ass glenn danzing is

i feel so alone

i feel like nobody cares about me and i am alone in this world. like i am the only one i can count on. would anyone realy care i just ended it right now? i just dont know

ello i don't want to think of title so i am just saying hi

mmmmmm i am just bord and so i am typing this and it is funny that you will read anything if you are seeing this


peace

do i deserve anything

why don't i think i deserve anything. i like some of the things i have but i don't like that i have them.hmmmm. i don't get myself. i feel like i am dead weight on everyone i know and the world in genrel. i don't know why i think these thoughts and why i foces on these thoughts.

i feel like a ass

i dont know why but i am realy mad at myself. hmmmmm.

trust

its funny to think about who i trust. i have a bad habit to not fully trust anyone. like i know i am going to fall so i try and cushion it. i don't even fully trust people close to me. i don't know why and it makes me lafe at myself slowly dieing. sick huh. thats what i think. well thats it

uhhhhhhhhhhhh

i got a stupid hair cut and it sucks it's all short and neat looking. also depressed like usuel. parinoied for no reason. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.




death

cool poem

Make this the sound of your death Stay quiet so they can hear your blood fall Dance in circles when the rope is around neck Let them hear your screams when they cut off your limbs Make this the sound of your death When your trying to catch your breath whe

mehhhhhhhhh

why do people have to be so persistent on there beleafes? just leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!

Peace

mehhhh

i am bord and i got nothing to do so ALL SHALE FEAR THE SQUEAK

life

i feel traped in it and just want to be relesed but i am traped in its "life" like box. mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

da squeak

al fear da squeak

suicide

suicide is selfish some say, i say it is freedome from the bitch we call life. but even a bitch has its good qualities like love, friends, music. i am still deciding. i do have people i care about and i guess i am not alone but i am drowning in my life. slowly dieing inside, though i have a coople of Tourniquets to stop the "bleeding". well that is life.

should i die?

should i die, who would i leave alone even though they would be beter without me. they would propley be sad mabey she whould consiter it herself though my hope is not. if she does just one more reasone i should rot in hell. my life is almost empty shough she is a star shining in the darkness that is my lite there are a few others, only one is as bright. though there is so much darkness i try to kling to the light but the darkness wants me and it may have me one day. and if that happens i want to be out of there lives so they don't get hurt. he may be sad and she may blame herself but it is not her fault. but i hope the light grows brighter and brighter if it dosn't shurley the dark will win but till that day...............the end

whritings of a lonley boy

i feel so alone so i am typing on this pretending like someone reads this. listing to confortably numb and relaxed. missing my girlfriend, having one more think call me emo and tell me that i will probley kill myself. still missing my girlfriend who is in england though i am happy she is having a good time.though then again on the killing myself that may happen from all of my self lothing but i am tierd of things telling me that. need something to do and trying to think of pic to put on this entrey mebey manson or alice cooper or rob zombie. you know keep up with the whole creepy thing i have going mostely because i wright when i am depressed this is one of the few times i am just unhappy not depressed so yay........moving on why am i rambling and you must have a good attenton span to get this far and if you can read this good for you. well to quote my girlfriend RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

bye

all that matters

peace,love,and rock n roll

i should die

i am an ass, a problem to society i don't know why i don't just do everyone a favore and end it

watch this movie

Sweeny Todd

what it the poit of it all

life seems so pointless and i crave death's sweet enbrase but my time is yet, i must weight.

i love this poem

Death as in deathLove as in loveShould I care Or should I notHate as in hate Like as in likeShould other people careOr should other people notAs I see, As I feelI fell hate and death upon meDay by dayNobody cares and nobody lovesSo I ask myself This one little questionThis question is so simple...Should I live Or should I just DIE!!!

TROGDOR

he kicks major ass

crapy short poem

Do

Do we deserve happyness,

Do we deserve love,

Do we deserve companionship,

or any of the above

i love this guy

you know you want him but he's mine

my angel my savior my lover

death's sweet enbrase

this is where i want to be